A great idea usually dawns on me slowly. I see it, I’m amazed, then it retreats to some back part of my brain.

It’s like when you open the car door and an important piece of paper swooshes straight out and dances across the parking lot. Every time you get close, slow down, reach out, and nearly pinch your fingers around it, the wind carries it a teeny bit further.

It’s like when your friend finds it hilarious to pull the car forward five feet every time you are about to grasp the door handle.

Important realizations are often like that for me. I know it. I see it. I want it. I just can’t quite grasp it. In and out we go. Sometimes I lose sight of the idea all together. I know I forgot something really important.

It’s not totally my fault. I have persistent short-term memory challenges. A couple decades of research reiterates what many people who struggle with long-term post-traumatic stress say – that they experience everyday memory retention issues around content that is emotionally neutral. It is so pervasive for me, I have developed myriad tricks to live productively.

Anyway, that was a rant inside of a rant and nothing so far has covered the primary topic of the big idea I had that I lost. Big ideas CHANGE me. I don’t want lose them. When they start to fade before I can write them down, I get a gut wrenching feeling.

“What was it,” I say to myself. “It was important and I know it.”

Then I have a quick internal conversation, like this one.

“Okay Pam, get to the point. You’ve explained the process of how something dawns on you three times over without talking once about what actually dawned on you.”

I reply to myself, “My point exactly! This is why it is so hard for me to keep ahold of a new, big, important idea. My brain is forever on a mission, sorting through a million ideas. It’s like trying to hold onto a single raindrop in the palm of your hand, in the middle of a rain storm. Just when it appears I got one, my hand fills to the brim. The ideas never cease.”

“Okay, okay,” I say to myself. “I get it. But what was the big idea? WHAT DAWNED ON YOU?”

“I don’t know. I honestly forgot...” 

Pamela Say is a nationally-published author, speaker, consultant, and higher education administrator. Her most recent work Waking Up Grateful: Turning a Painful Past Into a Purposeful Present is available on Amazon. Learn more at www.BeASeedPlanter.com. Photo credit for "Poet for Hire" to Matthew LeJune on Unsplash

In 2013, I published my first book and entered the WILD WORLD of authoring.

Seven years and four books later, authoring remains an ever-exploratory journey. Sending a work out into this WILD WORLD can take myriad routes – each with its own terrain, obstacles and buried treasures.

My adventure began publishing my first novel Hope Rising through a traditional publishing company. I entered the process like a kid on Christmas Eve – all the wonder of what might be waiting under the tree brimming up inside me. I understood the privilege of the moment; that only four percent of submitted manuscripts were accepted. I was now part of a small group of budding authors whose names would grace the cover of a book, backed by the power of a publisher. I dreamed big dreams.

A diligent worker, I took on all the challenges of being an unknown author. I promoted myself. I built a web site. I accepted speaking engagements. I arranged book signings. I showed up at library talks, sometimes with only three people in the room. I attended author trainings, wrote blogs, and engaged social media.

I also learned quickly that if you aren’t Dr. Phil or Oprah Winfrey, it is unlikely you will make a big name for yourself as a new author. Most of my profits went to the publisher. I made marginal gains. Sometimes, I lost money.

The same company published my second book Chuck and Spark Explore the Park – a fully illustrated children’s story. Soon after, my publisher was shut down and my two precious books went out of print. All that was left was the inventory on my shelf at home. A flurry of calls came from other publishers looking to profit by charging me to re-publish my book. I felt deflated.

I redirected my attention to my primary profession as a non-profit fundraiser and after presenting at a national conference, was selected to write an industry book Five Strategies to Increase Annual Fund Revenue. This time, I signed with a very reputable publishing company and experienced the joys of working with seasoned professionals. I gained access to the company’s president who mentored me, and to other authors in the group who encouraged and co-promoted one another. It was a joyous experience.

Still, I had to toil. Writing a book is an arduous task. Promoting one is another beast entirely. Seven years in, and authoring has offered me a business card, so to speak. It has opened myriad doors for paid speaking and consulting I never would have accessed without those credentials after my name.

This year, I ventured into a new WILD WORLD. I self-published for the first time. My fourth book – a novella titled Waking Up Grateful: Turning a Painful Past into a Purposeful Present - is, by far, my favorite work. I wanted to experience self-publishing as part of my author journey. It has exceeded expectations. I am learning new tools, rebuilding my web site, learning to create promotional videos, repurposing blogs, AND I am selling books.

I understand today that making a lot of money or garnering a “big name” is of least importance to me. I am a writer. I am compelled to write. Authoring has taken so many turns. Each has grown me as a person. I will never stop. Just as the painter is called, time and again, to the canvas – I am called to write. How I send that finished piece into the world is up to me. I encourage anyone who shares this passion to take the leap. Despite the hardships, it IS a rewarding journey.
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Find Pamela at www.BeASeedPlanter.com or on LinkedIn under Pamela Say, BA, MBA, CFRE.
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Today I obtained my Certified Fund Raising Executive (CFRE) credential…

…after 17 years working in non-profit fundraising and marketing

…having reached the executive suite

…subsequent to publishing my first fundraising book

…following my election as President of my chapter of the Association of Fundraising Professionals

…succeeding a four-year journey speaking nationally on philanthropic and other topics.

You may wonder why I sought certification now, why I didn’t do it sooner, or why I did it all since I’ve reached a career pinnacle. My story is a testimonial to a shift in the profession – one I’m proud to be a part of.

When I entered the industry post-college nearly two decades ago, I knew no one who said, “I want a career as a fundraiser.” Everyone I knew “fell” into the profession. They may have been hired because they had connections to donors, corporate leaders, or politicians. Some came up in PR or event management and transitioned into development. Others began as board members or volunteers, sparking a passion for formal work in fundraising.

Far fewer people are “falling” into fundraising today. They are studying to become masters of their craft. I see the shift in the profession most obviously in the passion and seriousness our young professionals exhibit when I talk to them at conferences and trainings. They inspire me!

Today, there are colleges offering degrees in philanthropy. Associations are professionalizing career tracks and defining our roles and responsibilities. Colleges, consultants, and research organizations compiled years of data and study to quantify the growth and impact of philanthropy. Processes are now documented and formalized to help us be more strategic, efficient and impactful. Standards and ethics take center stage.

Even the skeptics are beginning to see fundraising as an altruistic call to civic engagement which transforms lives and communities.

To be frank, I’m a bit embarrassed I didn’t get my CFRE sooner. In my home region, few people had the CFRE compared to neighboring cities. I believe, as a region, we were a little behind, but that too is changing. In the last couple months four of us earned our CFRE.
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Today I see our profession is moving in a healthy direction toward high standards of quality and practice. The CFRE is a great way to demonstrate not only that I have the experience necessary to be an executive in my profession, but I’ve put the effort in to understand the intricate details of this work. What a benefit to my non-profit and the donors I serve.

In my new book Five Strategies to Increase Annual Fund Revenue I consider a common challenge in our industry – coming up shy of the goal. Falling short of the vision is a universal issue we all face in our lives and careers.
Stalled goals can halt a company’s progress, deprive communities of important services, and prevent individuals from achieving lifelong dreams, but it can be overcome. Here are three potential reasons we don’t make it to the finish line and how to get back on track.
1.      Misunderstanding
In development, misunderstanding leads to lost results. Fundraisers and donors alike misunderstand the purpose of development work and often become rooted in failure before they begin.
This concept is true in all industries. Misunderstanding limits our capacity for success right out of the gate. If you are struggling with a goal, ask yourself, what might I be misunderstanding? Take a learning journey. Talk to experts in the field or people who have accomplished what it is you are trying to achieve. Begin to root out those things which are limiting your potential. Being an expert in a certain area may have gotten you so far, but perhaps it is time to take a step back and consider this. There is always more to learn!
2.      Fear
Fear is a very real deterrent to success and 99 percent of the time people will not admit they are scared. They point to every possible reason for failure rather than acknowledging, “I’m scared and I need help to overcome what is holding me back.”
The positive thing is we all feel fear. I have visited more donors than I can count, making asks big and small, and I still get a twinge of nervousness every time. Ask yourself, “What exactly am I afraid of and how is that stopping me from boldly achieving my dreams?” Often fear of rejection or hearing no stops us from making the case for ourselves and our organizations. I learned something valuable in my field that applies across the board.
The best way to annihilate fear is (1) preparation and practice, (2) openness to feedback and adjustment, and (3) acceptance that some things you have no answers for.
Just because we make a bold and well-practiced case doesn’t mean we can’t adjust it or go searching for answers to questions that confound us. One of my favorite sayings is, “I don’t know but I’ll find out!” The point is, never let the fear of no prevent you from getting to yes. In other words, brace yourself for significant rejection but never stop working toward that one yes that will launch you toward success.
3.      Lack of a rigorous process
Whether you are trying to achieve stretch goals for your company or the next level of your career, it takes a structured process. In my industry, fundraising for anything requires staged processes with timelines, goals, strategies, and measurable milestones. More organizations and individuals than you think do not maintain consistent processes when trying to achieve major goals. Many do not track results, analyze what is or isn’t working, and adjust along the way.
In companies, dive into the research and find out what the absolute best processes and proven methods are to achieving a goal like yours. If you are trying to accomplish a major milestone in your career or with your family, what processes might you put in place to add structure to your steps? Even something as simple as asking for feedback from others can improve your resume, your communication skills, and your interpersonal abilities. Debrief with someone you trust after each attempt at achieving your goals. Share what you did and get feedback so you can adjust your process next time.
It is never too late to get it right!
Remember, stalled goals are not an end to anything. They are a milepost on your road to success. Don’t let misunderstanding, fear, or lack of a rigorous process be the reasons you give up on your dreams! Some of the greatest successes the world has known were achieved by failing forward.
VISIT PAM AT WWW.BEASEEDPLANTER.COM TO LEARN MORE ABOUT HER UPCOMING BOOK, JOIN HER CONTACT LIST, AND HEAR ABOUT NEW BLOGS, SPEAKING ENGAGEMENTS, AND RELEASE DATES FIRST!

I recently served on a panel of women Executives for the Buffalo Niagara Partnership’s PowerUP event. PowerUP is an all-women’s event that includes insights and wisdom from successful business women as well as opportunities for networking. I knew I’d learn something – but I received much more than I expected that day.

First, the keynote speaker was Rhonda Frederick, President and Chief Executive Officer of People, Inc. Rhonda approached her talk in a straightforward and vulnerable way, sharing personal and professional challenges she faced and overcame.

Inspired by her story, many of us on the panel went on to share life challenges we worked through toward our ultimate leadership potential. Some of the leaders in the room talked about their divorces, what it was like to be a working single mom, overcoming brokenness as teenagers, unexpected pregnancies, work-life balance and more. Soon, the audience chimed in and we began to realize, none of has a “perfect story.” As human beings we all face uphill battles at times. We stumble and fall. Sometimes people might count us out. Yet, through perseverance we gain strength. That resilience helps us to be better leaders.

I loved that this topic came up organically because I talk about this often when giving keynotes and teaching workshops through my business Seed Planters. One of my favorite authors, Bill George, in his book True North, asserts that great leaders do an “inner work.” They put their life story in context and face and overcome their greatest crucibles. This is what makes them authentic and trustworthy. The PowerUP panelists and keynote speaker embodied that concept.

As the evening came to a close, I could see women reaching out to one another as they engaged in discussion and networking. I remembered when I first began my career sixteen years ago. It was a different time and women were less able or likely to mentor up-and-coming professionals. Being vulnerable was practically unheard of. It wasn’t the way of the business world back then. I believe many of those women paved the way for us, today, to be vulnerable and find inspiration and support in one another.  

So in that spirit, thank you Mary Travers Murphy of the Family Justice Center, Althea Luehrsen of Leadership Buffalo, Cindi  McEachon of Peace Prints WNY, and Morgan Williams-Bryant of Girls Scouts of WNY. As fellow panelists, you inspired me! Thank you, Rhonda Frederick. You set the tone for an amazing discussion. And last but certainly not least, thank you Jacquie Walker from WIVB Channel 4, for serving as hostess and MC.
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Each of you is making a difference in the world and I am proud to serve alongside you. So, in your honor, and in the spirit of one of the world’s greatest business women, I leave you with this final thought:
“Dare to be different. Be a pioneer. Be a leader. Be the kind of woman who in the face of adversity will continue to embrace life and walk fearlessly toward the challenge.” – Miss Oprah Winfrey

Over the last several years I have delivered or taught more than 30 keynotes and workshops nationwide including topics on communication, fundraising, and leadership; but the topic requested most is far from the typical conference session.

Its gritty, vulnerable, and often uncomfortable.

Nevertheless, whether I’ve taught this to a group of underprivileged college freshman or middle-aged factory managers – the response is the same. This is a life-changing way of looking at leadership.

We start by digging into the first “c” of the Social Change Model for Leadership Development (SCMLD), called “consciousness of self.” We look at what a person consists of – their experiences, values, beliefs, natural abilities, and perspectives. We hone in on the notion of leading by strengths as articulated in Gallup’s “Strengths Based Leadership,” but give a nod to the importance of building skill and teams around weaknesses. We discuss filling your leadership toolbox with items representative of all the stages in the SCMLD, like citizenship and controversy with civility.

Yet, the part of the talk that strikes home for most people is when we look at author Bill George’s suggestion that great leaders must do “an inner work.” When writing True North, Bill found that great leaders take time to pick apart their own life story, grapple with their greatest crucibles, and put their struggles into context so they can move forward authentically. Only then can people trust them enough to follow.

This last part is the toughest, because it requires us to examine those things that hurt or challenged us most in life. As a college Vice President and successful business owner who was classified “at-risk” in middle school, I never could have gotten to where I am if I had ignored my problems.

In my 20’s, having endured abusive relationships and experienced multiple, severe traumas, I had serious trust and anger issues. The early years of my career included interpersonal conflicts that directly correlated with the turbulence I was feeling inside. I got some counseling, put myself through an anger-control program, and studied more self-help books than I care to admit. All of this allowed me to stabilize and the moment I did, my career began to take off.

Here’s the thing – what is happening in us comes out of us no matter where life takes us. It doesn’t magically disappear because we got a college degree, a new job title, or a bump in pay.

For me, I’ve learned to accept this is a life-long process. Even now, 16 years into my career, I still see pieces of the unhealthy me rising to the surface now and again, in totally surprising and unexpected ways.

Great leaders – as Bill George discovered when he interviewed dozens of them – never stop growing.

Great leaders commit to a life of “inner work.”

Too often, we think addressing our vulnerabilities and letting the walls come down is a sign of weakness, but quite the opposite is true. It is a process to be honored and encouraged.
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Pamela Witter is a speaker, author, and professional fundraiser. She serves as VP for Development at Trocaire College and owns and operates a small business called Seed Planters. Her book Five Strategies to Increase Annual Fund Revenue will be released by Charity Channel Press in 2016. Visit her at www.BeASeedPlanter.com.

​In corporate and office environments we often size people up based on professionalism and forget, a human being exists underneath that suit. We have human reactions.

Some of us are better at suppressing them. Others are able to internally assess and move through them quickly, maintaining mental stability and focus. Still others, at varying degrees of intensity, duration, or frequency, give way to their emotional reactions to work situations.

In 15 years as a professional, I have had all of these reactions and have witnessed colleagues – from front-line staff to executive leadership – cycle through them. On rare occasions, I met someone who appeared stoic, but this was often accompanied by a lower level of engagement and collaboration. A big wall existed between them and nearly everyone else, leaving little room for the kind of connection, vulnerability and conversation that leads to great innovation.

I am an emotional person by nature, and a sensitive person. Many in my family have argued I am too sensitive at times. Others have said it is a gift and I can often feel other people’s feelings and bring awareness and healing to difficult situations. Either way, it presents challenges and opportunities in my life as a VP.

One opportunity is the ability to quickly assess and change approaches and communication styles based on others’ needs, in order to reach the desired outcome. A challenge is having a difficult time letting go in the inevitable moments when someone simply doesn’t like me.

Wherever you fall on the spectrum, Dr. Marcia Reynolds, Psy.D., suggests you recognize your reaction. She questions, “Do you feel fear in your chest, betrayal in your heart, anger in your shoulders, gut or head, or humiliation in the pit of your stomach?” She reminds us, “Your brain works very hard to keep you safe, so it will judge a situation as threatening if there is any possibility of social harm. This is not a logical process.”

Let’s say you’ve worked through your emotions, asked yourself if the person really meant to harm or criticize you, and you have determined they did. Reynolds says, it’s time to decide how much that really matters. In some cases, a situation becomes hostile. HR gets involved or you must decide, do I stay or do I go. Every day interactions rarely rise to that level. Instead, we must deal with difficulty.

She continues, resist trying to change others, “rise above the discord,” and mentally forgive people for not appreciating you or the impact they had on you. I would add, self-reflect often and grow through your own shortcomings. It’s not always everyone else’s fault.

Whatever the case, your mental energy is exhaustible. Reynolds calls it one of your “most precious resources.”

In order to continue doing great things, guard it like you would fine jewels, but also forgive yourself when you are what you are – a human being.

I may feel like a superhero sometimes when I’m firing on all cylinders, but God knows, you won’t find a Wonder Woman logo under my suit. Life reminds me often just how fallible I am and guess what, that’s okay.
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Reynolds, M. (Sept. 7, 2012) What to do when someone doesn’t like you: Questions to ask yourself when you feel hurt. Psychology Today. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wander-woman/201209/what-do-when-someone-doesn-t-you. 

Although thought leadership has been around since the 60’s when for-profit consulting firms created communication pieces mirroring academic journals to increase clientele, it has earned renewed notoriety in recent years. And frankly, people have a love-hate relationship with the term.

Love because it’s relevant. Legitimate thought leadership done right enhances reputation, increases presence, positions you above competitors, generates leads and conversions, and optimizes impact in the chaotic world of everything-internet. (see “6 Ways Thought Leadership Will Take Your Marketing to New Levels,” John Hall, 7/8/13, Forbes.com)

Hate because it’s overused and misused. Joel Kurtzman coined the term in the 90’s. He said not only customers, but peers and industry experts will recognize the individual as a thought leader. That individual “deeply understands the business they are in, the needs of the customers, and the broader marketplace in which they operate."  Yet, lots of people use the mechanism of thought leadership (sharing content, inviting you in through dialogue, positioning oneself as an expert) without delivering anything of substance.

Perfect example: Someone tweets a revolutionary headline about some new HR innovation and when you click on the blog there is no content, but rather an ambiguous “register for webinar X for $500” link. On the other hand, when someone tweets that same headline and then offers deep, valuable information, I become a forever-follower.

I pull my examples from fundraising because it’s my industry. Thought leaders I follow include Dan Allenby and his Annual Giving Network; Kent Stroman at The Asking Academy; Josh Birkholz who wrote the book on Fundraising Analytics; and Anne Freedman, International Presentation Coach. These people blow my mind every time I read their stuff. It’s informative and valuable. For that reason, I’ve contracted with some of them and I’ve connected with all of them.

So why might a community-based non-profit or small company consider this approach to sharing expertise with various constituencies? It can lead to:

• Being thought of first when community conversations arise around your industry.
• Earning a seat at the table with the big players.
• Increasing customer acquisition and conversion.
• More opportunity for visibility.
• Increased revenue.

If these things matter to you, consider researching the notion of content marketing as a first step toward thought leadership and ask yourself the following questions:

1. What are the unique areas of expertise present in my organization?
2. Who are the specialists who house that expertise in their brains?
3. Can we capture and compellingly present that information?
4. Who are our target audiences?
5. In what venues can we begin presenting compelling information?
6. Can we sketch out an infrastructure to push content often?

I went through this exercise myself for my business Seed Planters; proceeded to build an infrastructure with a blog, newsletter, and all the social media I could muster as a one-person shop; and shared content regularly. It absolutely has led to positive outcomes in all the areas mentioned.

I'll close with this awesome quote from Britton Manasco in her 4/5/12 article "Out of the Darkness: Thought Leaders Illuminate the Path Forward."

"Thought leadership is the presentation of relevant and compelling insights - enabling one's intended audience to comprehend key issues, make decisions, and embrace change. It concerns all leaders that hope to influence our understanding of past events, present conditions and future possibilities."

 George Washington Carver was a successful botanist, chemist, inventor and educator. Success like that doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s not surprising Carver said, “How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.”

In the work world, we enter professional relationships with people from all generations – the GIs or Greatest Generation, the Boomers, the Gen Y and Xers, and the Millennials.

As we blend in the office and the boardroom, sometimes conflict arises. I’ve heard GI’s suggest the world is “doomed” because of new leadership. I’ve heard Boomers say, “Young people these days are so spoiled, I can’t wait for them to be in the real world and get smacked with reality!” I’ve heard more than one Millennial dismiss established leadership. I don’t know what people say about Xers because they probably wouldn’t say it in front of me!

Despite our disagreements, we’re not all that different. Each of us is both capable and flawed. How beautiful when we collaborate and find resonance in our other-aged peers.  For example, in my late 20’s, I put my time in – long hours, inglorious work, marginal influence, mistakes and victories. So when I see Millennials making their way, I’m thrilled for them! I want to give them a leg up. I’m also embarking on the fourth decade of my life. I understand the slower, reflective approach of a wiser person and appreciate learning lessons in leadership from the Boomers guiding me. For that matter, to have an opportunity to sit with a GI and listen to their war stories, that is a blessing.

So much of successful management and leadership have to do with “being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong.” How we do that will dictate our ability to succeed in life and business. Each of us has something to learn and something to teach. Together, we comprise a complete perspective.

In the words of the great Maya Angelou, “We can learn to see each other and see ourselves in each other and recognize that human beings are more alike than we are unalike.”